Saturday, November 22, 2008

Drawing the line between the love of your life and your family and relatives

By: Esteri

Why do parents and relatives poke their noses on their children’s love lives? Now this is not welcomed well especially when one has proposed!
Some have genuine reasons to control their children dating lives for such as unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, domestic violence among others.
Other parents are the worst discriminators the world has ever had. They will discriminate a person’s suitability for their daughter or son in bases of race, ethnicity, societal and financial status, physical appearances and so on.
I mean why should my mother care if the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with is ugly or gorgeous, white or black is beauty not in the eyes of the beholder?
Besides, all human beings should be judged by the content of their character not their other aspect.
Fat or slim does not define whether what our children feel for each other is true love or not.
Where do we draw the line?
If your family and relatives deny you a lifetime opportunity to be happy with the one who hold your heart, it is a dilemma to choose between them and your love.
I am inspired by my own close friend’s experience where her boyfriend of two years had to ask her to leave him because his parents were against his relationship with foreigners.
They even refused to help him financially because they feared that she is just a gold digger after their family money.
This was so heartbreaking, because she is the kind who likes being independent and if her ex can claim of any loss of money resulting from her, he would be lying.
The circumstance under which his family placed him forced him to comply just to get favors from them to survive in a foreign country.
Moreover, the adorable parents had to invite even the distant relatives to influence them on rejecting their love.
So she had to let go, because she was then at the university, relying on student loan, there was no way she could have salvaged their relationship.
He keeps on coming back
She thought it was over, but he (her ex) won’t let her be. He says that he has not been able to forget her after a period of as long as one year since they broke up.
She too can not, but she does not want to be related to a family and relatives who hates her, she is so full of fear.
Their kind of love is the one that should torment them deep in their hearts forever, because they cannot love each other without fearing who support their love or not.
What is even more, she does not know how to approach her family and tell them that the boy is back and want to be forgiven.
Back to the parent dilemma! They will obviously demand to see him for questioning, explanations and may be demand that he does not show his pathetic face.
Where are we going wrong as relatives and parents?
Dowry or the bride price
From wherever I come from, a lady can not be married of without his bridegroom paying the dowry to show his goodwill.
In fact some cultures do not allow poor men to get married, a thing that put young men in danger of getting married in their late forties.
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About the Author:This is an original article written by Esteri MainaLOVE on Esteri Maina is an author with a great gift and full of inspiration

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